I've been holding myself against writing this entry. But its time, Ive expected and waited. Enough. I am scared, and feeling horribly vulnerable. I don't have a house or economic stability, have I done it all wrong? Have I decided wrongly on every opportunity, should it have been a different way?
Sometimes I wake up feeling terribly scared, lonely. I wake up thinking that if I died, then my kids would be left in the worst hands, either way. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the strength it takes to be different, why am I sooo different?
Sometimes I wake up feeling I have lost all battles, that I am the wrong person, with the wrong life, trapped in the wrong body. Sometimes I feel that all my struggles are unnecessary, exaggerated, hipertrophied...too radical for this world, and with unnecesary victims...
Sometimes I wake up feeling terribly scared, lonely. I wake up thinking that if I died, then my kids would be left in the worst hands, either way. Sometimes I feel like I don't have the strength it takes to be different, why am I sooo different?
Sometimes I wake up feeling I have lost all battles, that I am the wrong person, with the wrong life, trapped in the wrong body. Sometimes I feel that all my struggles are unnecessary, exaggerated, hipertrophied...too radical for this world, and with unnecesary victims...
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